Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Horus Hearsay

By The Megapope   Posted at  17:28   snark No comments

And now, how to convince a fellow Space Marine that the Warmaster has turned on the Emperor, by Ben Counter!

(Paraphrased ever so slightly from Galaxy in Flames)

SCENE: The chill void of space above ISSTVAN III. An occasional orbiting SKULL floats past because grimdark. TARVITZ has just been saved from certain death by GARRO who shot down several fighter jets intent on his destruction. He now must convince his battle brother that they have been betrayed. 

TARVITZ: So you remember the stories of Terra you told me, right?

GARRO: Indeed, it is hugely old, brother. Like old as balls. But feel free to get to the bloody point about why I just shot down several Imperial fighter jets who were chasing you down. Brother. 

TARVITZ: But Terra was well trashed and the Emperor took that apocalyptic wasteland and he built an empire from the ashes, right? 

GARRO: Indeed he did, brother. The glorious shiny Emperor founded the Imperium there and this is why I fight, brother. To stand against the darkness and rediscover ancient glories like soft toilet paper and daytime television. Now about those Imperial fighter jets that I just murdered on your say so…

TARVITZ: Well basically that is what is being betrayed here. That whole thing you said.


TARVITZ: Yes! So what will you do now?

GARRO: Well if I were a sane man I'd verify your massively outlandish statement in some way for starters, but instead I'll just assume that the only person who could possibly be behind this is Horus our beloved Warmaster because frankly he's a petulant highly strung manchild imbued with the powers of a demigod and also any kind of serious investigation would seriously eat into our pagecount. I guess my next step will be going to get Rogal Dorn or Magnus involved who will surely not rip me a new one for presenting them with a laughably insane tale based on pretty much no evidence whatsoever.

TARVITZ: Don't worry, you'll get your own book rights based on the chase scene. I mean I'm sure you'll get away just fine. 


0 bleatings to Megapope:

Back to top ↑

Who is this beardy weirdo?

My photo
Hatching from his egg high in the glacier crowned majesty of the Himalayas, the Megapope quickly devoured his other siblings and later on his parents, for being damned cheeky. He ran a bloody campaign of terror across the wind swept steppes of the north, coming to be known as 'That Horrid Bastard' by the terrified tribes of the region. Many years later he came second in a beauty contest, won $10, didn't pass Go and didn't collect $200.

Important legal disclaimer

Important legal disclaimer
© 2013 Paint Nerd . WP Mythemeshop Converted by BloggerTheme9
Blogger templates . Proudly Powered by Blogger .